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Bummis Pull On Covers are under $7!

One of the most popular reasons to cloth diaper is to save money. Depending on which still of diapers you choose – and which disposable diapers you are replacing – you can save from $1,500-2,000 or more per baby by using cloth diapers. That is a pretty big savings. Putting it a bit differently, what could your family do with an extra $20 every week if you did not have to buy diapers?

One of the big objection I hear about cloth diapers is that there is an initial startup cost of $150-500. Some families say even that is too much for them. I understand, our family has been through some rough times financially as well. Cloth diapering on the cheap is possible!

Here are some ideas to help you get started cloth diapering on a budget – or how to get started cloth diapering affordably.

* Start with cheaper options. No one actually needs a $30 diaper, no matter how cute or rare the print. While the $20 diapers are simple to use and usually well-made, you can certainly have a great cloth-diapering experience with less expensive options. For under $100 you can get 24 infant cloth diapers, 4 high-quality diaper covers, and a diaper fastener in a prefold cloth diaper package. That is a full stash of diapers for the first 6-9 months for less than $17 a month.

Better yet, those diapers will likely last through a second child. A full stash of diapers for the next 2 years or so will cost you about $150 – or $6.25 per month. Need something even cheaper? Bummis offers a cloth diaper starter kit for under $30 with 3 cloth diapers and a cover. Start with replacing 3 diaper changes per day and you’ll save close to $1 a day.

You can get a full stash of one size cloth diapers for under $100 if you use flat diapers or Econobum ($100 for 24 one size diapers – or $3.33 a month for 2  1/2 years!). Bummis pull on covers are also very economical and a dozen flat diapers, a Snappi and 4 pull on covers will cost you less than $50.

* Evaluate your priorities. For many families, the money is there – they just prefer to spend it on other items. If you really want to save money with cloth diapers, you may be able to find the money by buying fewer unnecessary baby items or finding cheaper options. A $50 diaper bag instead of the $150 diaper bag gives you $100 towards your goal of cloth diapering. While there are thousands of items sold for babies, you really only need a safe place for them to sleep, a way to keep them warm, a way to feed them, a safe car seat, and a way to diaper them. A lot of the other stuff is just extras!

I sometimes see families with an expensive name-brand diaper bag, overpriced stroller, and tons of useless baby gadgets complaining that they can’t afford cloth diapers. While it is true that many families struggle with cloth diaper startup costs, often the money is there if you rearrange some priorities. Buy the cloth diapers first, then use the savings to get the other items you want if you still feel the need.

* Invest in quality! Don’t waste your money on Chinese cheapie knock-off diapers. Good diapers last and you can feel good about diapering your baby with sustainable and ethical diapering options.

* Buy a few at a time. If you buy one cute cloth diaper every two weeks during your pregnancy, you’ll have a really nice stash of quality cloth diapers by the time your baby arrives. You can also take advantage of cloth diaper layaway options or start by buying a half dozen diapers and adding to your stash each pay day. There are many ways to build a cloth diaper stash without putting all the money out at once. Also, don’t forget about your baby registry! Most cloth diaper stores offer a baby registry. Encourage your family and friends to buy you what you need instead of something you may not even use.

* Buy used. If you can’t afford cloth diapers any other way, consider buying used. Just be careful of the source. Check used diapers for ruined elastic, loose snaps, and other problems before purchasing them. Wash used diapers several times before using them to be sure they are free of residues and anything else you don’t want on your baby.

* Make your own. I consider this a last-resort option because it can turn out to be just as expensive as buying good diapers if you are not really careful to keep costs down. Learning to sew good diapers is not hard, but there is a learning curve. Buy quality materials and get a good pattern – don’t try to save a couple of dollars and waste your time creating diapers that are unusable. You can buy PUL online (the waterproof stuff) (try PUL at Fabric.com or PUL at Joann.com, or my store http://www.SewClothDiapers.com) or you may be able to find it locally at Joann craft stores. I have heard both really bad and really good things about the Babyville PUL sold at Joann. If you buy it from them, wash it several times before you use it to be sure that it does not delaminate. If it comes apart, they will only refund if it has not yet been cut.

Making prefolds will cost you about as much as buying them unless you use nearly free materials, so your time is best spent on making fitted or pocket diapers if you are buying the materials.

You can use recycled materials for cloth diapers as long as you wash them well to remove any detergent or fabric softener residue. Old t-shirts, flannel sheets or receiving blankets all make good absorbent materials. Wool sweaters can become diaper covers.

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Econobum is one quality cloth diaper alternative.

I am asked about Chinese cheapie cloth diapers fairly often. They have flooded the US cloth diaper market in recent years and there are quite a few cloth diaper families who use them. Customers often wonder why I only sell the better brands – with no Chinese cheapie knock-off diapers in my store. I finally decided to post my rather lengthy explanation since I sometimes make more sense in writing than when rambling!

Anyone with a little cash can have these diapers made for them under their own label, so I have deliberately not mentioned any brand names. I have seen the exact same diaper sold under one brand name for $5 and also sold under a different brand name for $30. Exact. Same. Diaper.  I could easily start my own brand and play along with this trend – these companies contact me regularly. I refuse to buy into this.

Here is why you will never find those knock-off $5 diapers in my store:

Safety: If you have ever been in my store, you know that I am a bit of a safety nut. To me, nothing is more important than protecting our precious kids from the dangers we do have control over. Safety testing of all products designed for babies is required for US law. This includes testing snaps for lead and other nasty chemicals, as well as testing certain fabrics for lead and phthalates. Testing is not cheap, but it is illegal to import diapers that have not been tested.

Most of these Chinese diapers are NOT tested for safety as required by US law. Many are being imported illegally and have not been tested for lead and other dangerous chemicals. This is one way they keep their costs down.

Comfort: The feel of a good cloth diaper compared to a cheapie is very different. It is kind of like the difference in feel between a 1 ply toilet paper and a 3 ply toilet paper. You know the cheaper stuff is awful. Your baby will be more comfortable in a diaper made from quality materials.

Quality: The failure rate of these diapers is very high. I regularly have customers in who have bought these cheap diapers, only to have to replace them when they leak, delaminate, or fall apart. Some people rationalize that they can buy three $5 diapers and just keep replacing the bad ones. Is this a great use of your time? Do you really want to have to keep worrying about this or do you just want to get good cloth diapers and move on? What about the environment? Is it wise to keep throwing out leaky or defective diapers and buying new?

Ethics: These knock-off diapers are usually made from stolen designs. Many of these cheap diapers are violating US patents or have been copied from US companies. Often the copies are so similar that they are essentially counterfeit diapers. I have even seen labels copied – which does make them counterfeit diapers. This is not only unethical, it is illegal. I choose not to do business with companies that practice this kind of “ethics.”

Weird sizing: I did try a few of these diapers on my daughter so I could talk about them intelligently. The sizing is usually odd and they often will not fit as long as advertised. One brand was so small that the large diaper cover did not fit my 18 month old. Another was so wide in the crotch that it was bulky on my 2 year old even when the waist was too tight. Many, many customers have complained that they bought these cheap diapers and they were too big for their newborn, then their kids outgrew them as toddlers – making them have to buy three sets of diapers to get from birth to potty.

Human Rights: Finally, these knock-off diapers are made in factories that are paying their workers pennies an hour instead of the fair wages that are paid for US made or fair-trade diapers. These types of factories are often appalling as well. Workers are treated badly, factories are unsafe (just look at the factory fires and collapses we keep hearing about), and working moms make so little money under these conditions that they are forced to keep their babies under even worse conditions at the factories since they can’t afford to pay someone to watch them. There are ethical alternatives available.

If you need cheap cloth diaper options – there are plenty available. Some of the people I see claiming that they can’t afford “real” cloth diapers are the same ones who have 50 or more Chinese cheapies in their stash. You really don’t need that many diapers. You can easily diaper your baby from birth to potty with 24 quality diapers – or choose a less expensive option if your budget does not allow for well-made pocket diapers. There are plenty of good, economical options for cloth diapering on a budget. Options that will last, fit well, be comfy for your baby, are tested for safety – and help support your ethics.

Continue reading »]]> From the moment you think about having a child, the mommy guilt can take over. You are too young, too busy, too old, too cash-strapped, too thin, too fat, to whatever to have a baby. Then the pregnancy choices start. Should you be eating this or that? Are you taking enough vitamins? Too many? Will your baby suffer if you treat a cold or a headache? How will you birth? When? Where?

Strangers, family and friends – and even people you don’t really know on the internet – all have opinions about every choice you make. It is far too easy to internalize all of this and feel guilty about every choice we make as mothers. Stop, take a step back. Breathe. Then let the guilt go.

No matter what you do, you will make some mistakes. No matter what you do, you will wonder if you should have made some choices differently. The fact is, most of the choices you are making are right. If you care about your baby, think things through, and make the best choice you can – it is time to move on. Stress and guilt are so damaging to you – and they don’t help anyone else.

Yes, I know some “bad” mothers. I know women who completely neglect their kids and put themselves first all the time. These women ignore their kids’ real needs and spend their time and money on themselves while their kids suffer. Chances are, you are not that mom. You won’t be perfect, but if you are doing your best your kids will thrive.

What does it mean to do your best? It does not mean stressing about every detail and feeling like if you are not THE BEST you are not good enough. Your child has the perfect mother for them. I don’t believe in accidents – I think we are given the kids we are supposed to raise. You are the perfect mother for that child – even if you are not perfect.

While I love all that the internet allows us to do, it has a down side. It makes mommy guilt so easy to find. Research is good. Finding community online is good. Researching to the point of a nervous breakdown, probably not so good. Spending time online with people who judge others all day long, not so healthy.

A recent study showed that people who spend time on social media sites like Facebook actually feel worse about themselves the longer they are on those sites. Why? Well, it is pretty easy to guess that your real life does not look anything like the smashing good time that all of your friends seem to be having.

Spoiler Alert: Your friends and online acquaintances are leading much more normal, imperfect lives than you’d ever believe from their Facebook pages and Pinterest boards.

Double Spoiler Alert: None of them are perfect either. Mom perfection does not exist.

Finally, I really worry about the effects of online groups where it is so easy to judge. I remember one mom timidly posting to an attachment parenting group that she planned to buy a stroller since she has arthritis and can’t carry her little one all the time. She was so upset and worried that she would be judged since the majority of the group members are babywearing advocates. Is this what we have come to? Babywearing has all kinds of benefits, but it is not the only way to parent well.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others, especially those on the other side of the keyboard. You just never know what struggles they face today. Let go of the mommy guilt and give yourself a break.

Continue reading »]]> Infant car seat canopies or car seat covers are very popular. At least 90% of the babies I see being carried in car seats are in a seat with a canopy or cover attached. We live in a cold climate and my daughter was an autumn baby – so I do understand the desire to keep baby warm and protected from the elements while in transit to and from the car. However, babies are not parrots. Covering a car seat for too long can be unsafe. I have serious concerns about whether these covers are safe for babies. Before you decide that I am just a safety nut (which I am, to some extent), let me explain.

Car seat canopies or covers that attach to the car seat with a space for the parent to hold the car seat handle are certainly safer than trying to cold a car seat with a blanket over it. Keeping your baby warm when it is seriously cold outside is also important. This winter we saw single digit days far too often for my taste! However, there are some serious risks with these covers.

First, adding almost anything to a car seat will void the warranty. While I have seen some car seat accessories that I think are useful and safe, read your owner’s manual before adding anything to a car seat.

Second, positional asphyxia (suffocation due to the head and neck position or compression of the chest of a young infant) can occur in any car seat or baby seating device – even when an infant is being held. Positional asphyxia is simply the position of the baby’s head and neck leading to suffocation. When a baby’s head is pushed forward or sideways too far, or when their chin is pushed into their chest, it can impair their airway. In severe cases this can cause suffocation. A baby’s windpipe is like a straw. If you bend it too far, you stop airflow. It takes only a couple of minutes for an infant so suffocate and it is a silent process.

It is most common in infants under 4 months who can not yet control their heads well, or those with colds, premature babies, and others with special breathing issues. Some cases of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) are likely due to positional asphyxia. If a baby is left in a covered car seat, especially outside of a car, how often is the parent observing the baby’s breathing and head position?

When an infant is in a car seat, the flat back of the seat naturally pushes the baby’s head forward. This is a design flaw common to all car seats. Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely believe that in a moving vehicle an infant car seat or convertible car seat (rear-facing) is the only safe place for a baby to be. However, the infant’s head should always be positioned so that their neck is straight and their chin is not being pushed into their chest.

The angle of a car seat is very important as well. Be sure that the seat is installed in your car so that it is at the right angle. Too far forward or backward and it can be unsafe or impair breathing.

If your baby’s head is too floppy in the car seat, you can roll up a burp cloth or small receiving blanket and put it on either side of the baby’s head to help hold their neck straight. Never put anything under the car seat straps as this can lead to the straps being too loose to contain the baby in an accident.

My third concern is with car seats and babies being left covered for long periods of time. One scenario I commonly see is that a parent will tuck an infant into the seat with the seat cover tucked in tightly all around. Sure, this blocks light and sound so the baby will sleep longer – but it is also trapping in carbon dioxide. There is simply not enough air flow through two layers of fabric for an infant to get enough fresh air to last more than a few minutes at best.

A study done on cribs with crib bumpers showed that carbon dioxide levels rose to dangerous levels. If a crib bumper can hold in that much bad air, what is happening under that car seat cover? How many babies have a carbon dioxide buildup that leads to a headache and crying when their parents just assume they are teething or something? If you are going to use a car seat cover, never leave your baby unattended at all or completely covered for more than a few minutes.

Fourth, a car seat is just not a safe place for babies to be outside of a car. Car seat injuries from tipping, falling out, and other incidents lead to thousands of emergency room visits each year.

Finally, babies are designed for human contact. I have seen many parents leave a covered infant alone in a car seat even when they are awake. Babies need lots of human interaction. They want to see what is happening around them. They want to see your face. A baby carrier is a much safer, much more interactive way to carry your baby. Held babies cry 43% less, learn to talk sooner, and are calmer than babies who are left in a car seat – even if it is “just” a few feet away.

If you feel you need a car seat canopy to protect your baby from the weather, be sure that you open it as soon as you are inside the car or house. If your baby is sleeping in a car seat, be sure their head is properly positioned and check on them often. Leave a corner of the cover open on each side to allow for plenty of airflow and to let you see them without wakening them.

Continue reading »]]> While Superstorm Sandy brings the East Coast to a standstill, even those not affected by this storm are wondering what they can do to be prepared for natural disasters and life’s speedbumps. While natural disasters seem to be coming more and more frequently, we all face speedbumps in life that can really throw us off course if we are not prepared. As a mom (or dad), your need to prepare for such disasters is magnified by the little ones who depend on you to make sure they weather these storms as well. Here are some tips I have found useful in dealing with the wild ride that life can bring.

* Print a list of contact info for important people in your family and community. If your cell phone battery is dead, can you call anyone you know?

* Let family and friends know that you plan to use Facebook or similar services to update family members that you are ok. This helps keep cell tower resources available and also makes it easy to update everyone at once.

* Get your finances in order. If you are spending more than you are earning, there is a problem and it is time to do some serious examining of your spending priorities or at least find a way to balance things. It may mean giving up some short-term luxuries, or taking on a second source of income.

Whatever you need to do, you are going to sleep a lot better at night if you have 6 months of savings and your debts paid down. That won’t happen overnight, for most of us, but it is a goal that we should all be working towards.

Many of the “necessities” people pay for each month are really luxuries. Like cable TV. I have personally not paid for cable TV since college. I figure I have saved at least $50 a month for the last 20 years. That is $12,000!

Cutting out things like cable has given me the ability to work from home – even though I took a serious paycut by doing so. Sure, every now and then I miss me some HGTV or something, but if I had it I would feel obligated to watch it – and I just prefer to do other things with my time.

* Keep some cash on hand. Be sure to have at least $100 in small bills hidden away for an emergency. While I was living in the DC area I learned that even a heavy snowstorm can knock out credit card machines, leave banks short on cash, and even keep fuel trucks from replenishing gas stations. If you have some small bills on hand, you can at least buy what you need if it is available.

I was also living in the Washington DC area when 9/11 happened. No one knew what was coming next or how bad things would get. I remember the feeling of fear as I left work early that day and headed home. I had to stop at the bank, the grocery store, and the gas station before I went home. Had I been prepared I could have simply gone straight home. If the disaster had been an earthquake or something similar, there would not have been time to do any preparation.

* Don’t let your gas tank get below half full. If a disaster strikes, you will need fuel and it could be in short supply. As I mentioned, when the 39 inch snowstorm fell on the Mid Atlantic – tanker trucks could not make it in to fill the gas station tanks. In an earthquake or other situation, gas may be in short supply for a while.

* Keep water on hand. This can be as simple as stocking up on a few extra cases of water. Experts recommend that you keep 3 gallons per person for a 5 day supply. So, for our family of 9 people – that is 15 gallons a day for 5 days or 60 gallons of water. You’ll need it for drinking, but also for sanitation, washing, and cooking. Don’t forget your pets! While drinking water needs to taste good or I won’t drink it, washing water can be tap water that is properly stored with just a bit of chlorine bleach in it.

The LDS church has some great info on food and water storage here.

* Keep food on hand. This has been a lesson I learned from my mother who grew up during some very hard times. I can not tell you how often this has simplified my life! During job losses, car repairs that sucked down all my available cash, business start up times, illnesses that just made it hard to shop, and economic down-times, we always had food.

You can go with high-tech dried emergency supply kinds of food – or just buy extras every time you shop. This is how I like to do it. This also helps us save money and I know that the food we have is what we like to eat. Make sure that at least some of your food supply can be eaten without cooking. We always have canned fruits and veggies, chili, soups, peanut butter, bread, crackers and other “fast foods” on hand.

Planning for food storage does not need to be complicated. For instance, I know that we use about 4 jars of jam per month (Grandma eats a lot of jam and bread, and Eva likes her PBJ sandwiches!). So, I need about 50 jars of jam for a whole year. I either make or buy jam in bulk and we never run out. We use about 16 cans of tuna per month and it is on sale two or three times per year. When tuna is on sale, I buy two cases of 48 cans each. That is usually enough to last until the next sale, and I never have to worry about running out.

Don’t stress if you are short on cash and feel that food storage is out of your reach. Just start by buying a few extras each shopping trip – focusing on foods that are on sale and that keep well. If you have $3 extra each week, buy 3 extra cans of something each week. If you have no extra money, try cutting back on something expensive and substitute something more sustainable. That $3 box of cold cereal could be traded for $3 worth of oatmeal. You’ll save money per meal, have a little extra, and be healthier.

* Pack a 72 hour kit. This is simply a bag of things you need if you have to survive away from home for 72 hours. Clothing, diapers, medicine, food, water, snacks, cash, copies of important documents, and some form of entertainment – all in a handy bag or tote that is easy to carry. A first aid kit, flashlights, battery-powered radio, hand sanitizer, and blankets are also important. A backpack makes sense if you can find one. Stock up in cheap backpacks from yard sales or school supply sales. Store these where they are easy to access in case you have to leave in a hurry. Be sure to look at your kits twice a year to be sure everything is up-to-date and still fits – kids grow fast! FEMA has great info on packing an emergency kit.

* Make sure that valuables such as family photos and heirlooms are easy to access. A quick list of what to bring in an evacuation could save you a lot of time. This summer we saw many people in Western states have to evuacate their homes in under an hour – some had only a few minutes to grab what they could before their homes burned to the ground. If you either store items where they can be easily accessed, or have a list handy in your 72 hour kit, you’ll know what to get when your mind might be blank from panic and stress.

* Keep some emergency supplies in your car. You never know when a freeway pileup or sudden storm could keep you out on the road longer than you plan. Keep snacks, water, blankets and a first aid kit – as well as a flashlight, jumper cables and flat tire repair tools handy.

The most important thing to remember is that if you are prepared, you need not fear. Your family will be depending on you in an emergency. If you have everything prepared in advance, you can remain calm and help keep your kids calm too. No matter what the emergency, the most important thing to remember is that as long as you are together you can make it through anything.

Continue reading »]]> My 3 year old decided long ago that she was too big for a diaper bag – instead, she calls our bag of necessities her “Adventure Bag.” I love that! Life is rarely what you think it will be, but the ride is amazing.

I used to be the kind of person who planned everything. I am still a planner – but I’ve also learned to take life as it comes. Life is not ever going to be as predictable as I once thought it should be. Being a mom certainly makes planning tough. No matter what you have planned, something can throw it off – whether it be a sick kid, a family emergency, or just a sunny day that needs a picnic.

If you have your adventure bag packed, you’ll always be ready for what life throws at you. Many years ago I was a nanny to 2 little girls whose mother taught me one of the most important life skills I think I have ever learned. She had bags packed for several activities they enjoyed as a family. If they wanted to go skiing, she just put the right bags in the van and off they went. When she returned, she washed everything and repacked it. They were always ready for an adventure.

Sadly, my friend passed away a few years ago. Her daughters are in their 20′s, both newlyweds. Their mom was not there for many of the major life events in the last few years. They have the comfort of knowing that their mom really lived her life – and she loved them enough to spend time with them. They have memories of camping trips, ski vacations, canoe trips, and so many other special times – because their mom was prepared.

I try to put this lesson into use in my own life now. My daughter is very young, but I am not. While I hope I can be there for her until she is old – life does not promise that. What I can do is make sure that as often as I can, I throw the adventure bag into the car and take off! We have a bag for the beach; a picnic bag with utensils, napkins and plates; a bag for the everyday trips; and in the summer I keep the sand toys in the car. You just never know when you’ll need sand toys.

With everything packed up and ready to go – I don’t have the excuse that I am too tired to pack everything for an outing. This summer we have been out and about more than ever – despite the long hours my business demands.

Adventure bags don’t need to be fancy or complicated, the goal is to simplify your life so much that you have more time for fun – and so you are better prepared for little emergencies.

So, what is in our everyday adventure bag?

• Wipes
• A change of clothes for my daughter (handy if she decides to dance in the rain, splash in a puddle, get car sick, or just spill a drink – keeps me calmer knowing she has something to change into!)
• A sweater for my daughter (sometimes AC is too cold, or for an unseasonably chilly day here in the mountains)
• Hand sanitizer (we have to be careful not to bring germs home to Grandma)
• Tissue
• Snacks (you never know when something will take longer than expected)
• Water – gotta stay hydrated
• Medications for both of us (asthma meds and pain killers for me, motion sickness meds and pain killers for her) – obviously these need to be packaged safely to protect kids!
• A few bandaids (there is a real first aid kit in the car, but bandaids are nice to have when a knee is skinned or a blister pops up on a hike)

Our beach/swim bag has:

• Swimsuits
• Sunscreen
• Hair bands (we both have long hair)
• Towels
• Shampoo (the stuff at the swimming pool is icky)
• Floaties

Our Picnic bag has everything for an impromptu picnic, it lives in the car:

• Plates
• Plastic silverware (we wash and reuse!)
• Napkins
• A checkered picnic tablecloth
• A sippy cup (someone spills everything with out a lid!)

How can you simplify your life with a few, well-packed bags?

Continue reading »]]> Being a mom puts you under a microscope in a way that nothing else will – unless you choose to throw your hat in the ring for President one day. My little shadow is particularly good at copying everything she sees and everything she hears. I see it when she picks up my cell phone and starts working the buttons with thumbs like a high school student in a text war. She learned that one from her aunt. Often though, looking at her is like looking at a fun house mirror. My most distinguishing features get all blown out of proportion. (Is my forehead really that big?)

Our bedroom has no built-in closets, so her father and I have matching armoirs. A few days ago she marched over to her father’s armoir and threw open both doors. “I know WHY! I know WHERE!” she announced in her stage voice. Then she closed the doors. Again, she threw the doors wide and dramatically said, “I know WHY! I know WHY! I know WHY! I know WHERE!”

Cute, but what does she mean? Then I saw my reflection in her nearly bald little head.

I have a ritual, each Sunday, which is the only time I every have an excuse to wear something other than mom jeans. When I throw wide the armoir doors, I am confronted by a closet full of clothes purchased long before I had a baby. Most were purchased when I still had a J-O-B. Some, I think, were purchased during the Clinton administration.

I glance at all of the too small, out-of-style or matching-nothing-else-I-own clothing. Then I say, “I don’t know why I bother! I have nothing to wear!”

Ah, I know WHY and I have nothing to WEAR!

Everything we do teaches them something. Whether it is a tiny thing, like cutting a peanut butter sandwich the “right” way or something big, someone is watching you! Our kids learn about appreciating their bodies from us. They learn how to handle life’s little ups and downs from us. They probably also learn about keeping your closet cleaned out and getting rid of anything that is no longer valuable, but I don’t want to think too much about that right now!

I really want my daughter to have the self-confidence and poise I have never quite mastered. I want her to see herself as the beautiful girl that she is, even if she keeps takes those adorably chubby thighs to college. If she is going to learn all of that, she will need a role model. Not someone who whines at a closet full of expired clothes. I have so much to teach her, and so much to learn from her. Starting with buying myself some clothes that fit. And some clothes that are as cute as the stuff I buy her.

Continue reading »]]> I can see the headlines now. “Work at Home Mom Forgets Baby’s Name.”

You would think with only one child underfoot most of the time, I should be able to keep the kid’s name straight. Apparently not so.

James came home from work the other night and we were discussing some recent policy changes his employer, eBay had made. These changes are important to me, since I have been on a PowerSeller on eBay for several years. About that time an email about those eBay changes came into my inbox and I was reading it aloud to him while supervising Eva on her potty. She said she had to go. I am starting to think “Mama, potty!” is code for, “Let me get naked and then you can read books to me for a good long time while I have your almost undivided attention.”

So, she sat down, then stood up. I told her to sit. She sat. Then stood up again. Now, from recent experience I know that she is just as likely to pee on her feet as in the potty, so I encouraged her to sit again. She did for .2 milliseconds. Then she was back up again. And I said:

“eBay! Sit down and go potty!”

As if that was not bad enough, the next day while her cousins were over I managed to call her Georgia, Emma, and Bella within a one hour window.

Can I still blame the short-term memory loss on the four months of fertility drugs (which, by the way, did not work) or do I get to blame in on sleep-deprivation from dealing with a child who can use the potty but still wakes up every two hours all night whenever she is sick or teething (ie, almost all the time)?

Continue reading »]]> Ok, so I am not expecting Eva to stop using diapers any time soon, but I have to admit I am psyched. Eva has been showing some signs of potty training readiness, such as telling me if she has to go when her diaper is off and staying dry for an hour or more. Yesterday Eva was obviously ready to dirty her diaper and she came to tell me about it. I asked her if she wanted to go potty. “Yes!,” she said emphatically. So, I grabbed a potty seat that happened to be handy (helps to live in a house that has housed multiple toddlers over the years!). ‘

We went to bathroom and I put her on the potty seat atop the toilet. Two minutes later, success! She pooped in the potty. I asked if she was done and she said no. I waited another minute, and she peed. Then she pointed at the toilet paper and said “Down!”

She has asked to go potty 6 times today, with success on three of those attempts. Pretty good odds for a 15 month old.

I don’t want to pressure her, so for now I am just going to keep offering her the option when she wants to go. Since she can’t yet open doors or get her clothes up and down alone, I don’t expect her to be completely trained for many more months. I am just really surprised to see that she has the physical ability to hold it and the ability to choose when to go. Most little girls are not ready to train until close to 2, boys generally train at 2 1/2 or later.

I’ve seen far too many parents engaged in a battle of wills with a child who is not ready to potty train – or worse, parents who have waited so long to potty train that the child is determined to continue their habit well past the age when they could have easily trained. Picking the right time to train is not easy, but it makes a huge difference in how easy it is for a child to learn to use the potty. The biggest thing to remember is that you can’t force a child to potty train! They have to be a willing participant – even if you need to incentivize them to be willing.

So, no rush for my little one to potty train. I am  just thrilled to have fewer dirty diapers to change!

Continue reading »]]> While we got lucky with Eva, things have not been so smooth with trying for baby number 2. Now that Eva is 14 months old, we are stepping up the fertility game again. I would prefer to try all the things that worked so well with us last time, but it just is not possible to exercise, eat right, take a handful of herbs with every meal and take care of baby, business and everything else. So, we decided to try the medical route.

Surprisingly, I am doing really well on the diabetes prevention drug metformin. This drug is shown to increase fertility in women with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), as well as helping to prevent diabetes, improve insulin resistance, lower miscarriage rates (miscarriage risks are high with PCOS), and possibly reduce gestational diabetes. I’ve taken metformin in the past, but it has many not so pleasant side effects. And, it was not helping me at all on the dose I was at (1500 MG). This time I am on 2000 MG and I am seeing a difference in how I feel as well as my food cravings. Unfortunately, I am also getting the lovely side effect of mild nausea most of the time. UGH!

My OB is working with us on basic infertility treatments since our insurance will cover them – if her methods fail, we will have to go to a cash only basis with one of the fertility clinics (only 2 choices in this little city). Our insurance will reimburse us for some, but when treatments run into the thousands per month – well, if this does not work then we are going to be waiting a good long while before we are able to afford more expensive treatments.

So, we tried 50 MG of clomid (a common fertility drug) two months ago. No dice. So, we tried 100 MG the next month. No help either. So, my doctor said that at my age, I can’t afford to mess around. She prescribed 200 MG of clomid. I was worried about the side effects, since the 50 MG stuff was giving me bad headaches and making me think – very- slowly – and – forget – stuff – a – lot! To my great surprise, I am feeling much better on the big dose than on the little dose. So, we cross our fingers and hope that the massive drugs get my ovaries working again.

If the drugs work, the next step is to schedule a trip to the doctor to give nature a boost with an IUI (intrauterine insemination – yes, it is JUST as much fun as it sounds!). We had James tested just to rule out a problem.  Seems I am not the only one with a fertility issue, and an IUI will give us a better chance of success than just hoping for the best. IUI also bypasses some of the side effects of clomid, making it easier for the key pieces of DNA to meet up.

Fertility treatments are no fun. First, no one can seem to agree on what the odds of success or risky multiples are. I suppose this is because every situation is different. Few studies have been narrowed down to “secondary infertility with PCOS and low sperm morphology (lotsa soldiers, they march well, but far too many are out of uniform).” So, we can only guess. And even if you know the statistics, you can never know how THIS month will go. At least we have one healthy little girl, so we know it CAN happen. That makes it a lot easier. And, if she was our only child together, I’d be ok with that. She is such a joy.

 Studies show that clomid alone is effective about 10 percent of the time for women with PCOS. Clomid and metformin bump the odds up to about 27 percent pregnancy rate. The doctor said that adding the IUI would increase our odds about 4 percent. So, we have about 1 in 3 chance of all of this working within 6 months – but if my body does not respond to the drugs – they have a zero percent chance of working! Then, there is the question every one asks when they hear the words “fertility drugs” – will I have a litter? Most likely not. Clomid is a pretty low level drug. It can and has caused a few cases of high order multiples (HOM – more than 3 babies at once). But, it is far less likely to do so than most other fertility drugs.

The drug pamphlet that came with the clomid says there is an 8 percent chance of multiples. That is 7 percent chance of twins, 0.5% chance of triplets, and a tiny chance of more.  You takes your chances in this game. The goal is one baby. One healthy baby. But, if it is twins or triplets, I’d be ok. The fear with more than 2 is that these babies nearly always come too early and have complications. Not to mention that I had a tough enough time being pregnant with Eva, I am not sure my body could handle twins or more. So, we pray for one healthy baby!

So, I try to ignore the morning sickness from the clomid (metformin makes me mildy nauseated – clomid is making me remember how horrible I felt when I was pregnant). I spend a lot of time wondering. Waiting. Praying. And keeping my fingers crossed.